How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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