it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
