i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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