You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
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