I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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