So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
