just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Randomize
