I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Randomize
