i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom