do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Randomize
