Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
25 People Confess The Most Ignorant Thing Someone Has Ever Said To Them
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind