you turned your livingroom into a bong?
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Never joke about your clitoris.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
