well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
These 25 People Believed Fake Facts For Way Too Long
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
True strength comes from lack of pants
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.