Texts From Last Night

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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.

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  (479): Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits. http://tfl.nu/uo57
  Replies (13) Good night (720) Bad night (3164)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?

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  (314): his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride? http://tfl.nu/qrch
  Replies (118) Good night (1150) Bad night (8582)
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.

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  (517): Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever. http://tfl.nu/y7ox
  Replies (47) Good night (4261) Bad night (1400)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.

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  (678): Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college. http://tfl.nu/njr4
  Replies (26) Good night (7372) Bad night (979)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.

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  (502): I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party. http://tfl.nu/23sk
  Replies (17) Good night (1178) Bad night (4884)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this

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  (410): forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this http://tfl.nu/291a
  Replies (27) Good night (1151) Bad night (8311)
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  (337): View more from Louisiana

  Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.

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  (337): Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night. http://tfl.nu/5kyl
  Replies (36) Good night (6875) Bad night (2539)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.

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  (919): All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on. http://tfl.nu/8snd
  Replies (15) Good night (5532) Bad night (1120)
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  (520): View more from Arizona

  Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away

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  (520): Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away http://tfl.nu/885d
  Replies (1) Good night (1611) Bad night (646)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.

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  (314): For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo. http://tfl.nu/n4q2
  Replies (4) Good night (1037) Bad night (384)
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  (225): View more from Louisiana

  My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am

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  (225): My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am http://tfl.nu/6fcm
  Replies (0) Good night (757) Bad night (370)
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  (601): View more from Mississippi

  Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?

  (1-601): View more from Mississippi

  She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.

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  (601): Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes? (1-601): She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her. http://tfl.nu/le6w
  Replies (4) Good night (509) Bad night (342)
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  (716): View more from New York

  I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.

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  (716): I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow. http://tfl.nu/y8yu
  Replies (3) Good night (497) Bad night (300)
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  (865): View more from Tennessee

  I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH

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  (865): I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH http://tfl.nu/s3s4
  Replies (4) Good night (739) Bad night (403)
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  (434): View more from Virginia

  I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.

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  (434): I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane. http://tfl.nu/d551
  Replies (1) Good night (412) Bad night (255)

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