Texts From Last Night

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  (313): View more from Michigan

  my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly

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  (313): my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly http://tfl.nu/cj2d
  Replies (39) Good night (993) Bad night (10296)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore

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  (702): I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore http://tfl.nu/l7gt
  Replies (37) Good night (5640) Bad night (2171)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.

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  (813): y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all. http://tfl.nu/2iln
  Replies (125) Good night (15260) Bad night (1425)
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  (901): View more from Tennessee

  He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.

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  (901): He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him. http://tfl.nu/u51w
  Replies (23) Good night (7324) Bad night (985)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.

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  (407): I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin. http://tfl.nu/d7w8
  Replies (7) Good night (4035) Bad night (1162)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.

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  (419): cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over. http://tfl.nu/mynf
  Replies (1) Good night (1913) Bad night (1003)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.

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  (306): We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit. http://tfl.nu/ure1
  Replies (1) Good night (655) Bad night (1009)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.

  (678): View more from Georgia

  C smoking isn't all bad

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  (678): When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs. (678): C smoking isn't all bad http://tfl.nu/znda
  Replies (5) Good night (718) Bad night (927)
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.

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  (715): It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection. http://tfl.nu/qz8n
  Replies (16) Good night (1818) Bad night (766)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.

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  (608): Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out. http://tfl.nu/np60
  Replies (10) Good night (1565) Bad night (729)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  I will give you all my nachos to make this happen

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  (480): I will give you all my nachos to make this happen http://tfl.nu/ghnu
  Replies (4) Good night (1230) Bad night (549)
• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking

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  (813): Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking http://tfl.nu/kd2w
  Replies (4) Good night (898) Bad night (480)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.

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  (310): I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college. http://tfl.nu/x5oz
  Replies (18) Good night (1952) Bad night (567)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"

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  (610): Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants" http://tfl.nu/nrn2
  Replies (3) Good night (357) Bad night (716)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.

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  (304): I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket. http://tfl.nu/s9lg
  Replies (1) Good night (479) Bad night (151)

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