Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(207): View more from Maine

I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.

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(207): I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking. http://tfl.nu/3fqs

Replies (27) Good night (3430) Bad night (970)
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(502): View more from Kentucky

apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up

(1-502): View more from Kentucky

basic color theory

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(502): apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up (1-502): basic color theory http://tfl.nu/ff46

Replies (14) Good night (1121) Bad night (3446)
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(262): View more from Wisconsin

I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.

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(262): I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old. http://tfl.nu/6kgo

Replies (8) Good night (3718) Bad night (1163)
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(313): View more from Michigan

An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....

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(313): An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it.... http://tfl.nu/pvzg

Replies (8) Good night (980) Bad night (2634)
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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.

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(215): we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me. http://tfl.nu/nfi8

Replies (8) Good night (5090) Bad night (910)
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(512): View more from Texas

Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.

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(512): Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here. http://tfl.nu/r3kt

Replies (14) Good night (3605) Bad night (881)
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(505): View more from New Mexico

I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.

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(505): I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am. http://tfl.nu/o50r

Replies (26) Good night (3541) Bad night (692)
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(360): View more from Washington

WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN

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(360): WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN http://tfl.nu/hvye

Replies (12) Good night (1417) Bad night (588)
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(860): View more from Connecticut

i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom

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(860): i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom http://tfl.nu/gild

Replies (11) Good night (544) Bad night (2042)
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(817): View more from Texas

We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.

(1-817): View more from Texas

Braid them armpits, sister.

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(817): We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered. (1-817): Braid them armpits, sister. http://tfl.nu/o7hq

Replies (1) Good night (1329) Bad night (659)
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(+61): View more from Australia

I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.

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(+61): I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING. http://tfl.nu/8crd

Replies (1) Good night (610) Bad night (296)
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(226): View more from Ontario

I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.

(613): View more from Ontario

The fuck? Where?

(226): View more from Ontario

St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.

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(226): I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy. (613): The fuck? Where? (226): St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this. http://tfl.nu/bh0m

Replies (8) Good night (799) Bad night (259)
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(206): View more from Washington

you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...

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(206): you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night... http://tfl.nu/tmlo

Replies (3) Good night (590) Bad night (251)
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(940): View more from Texas

I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.

(682): View more from Texas

Only you could get away with that.

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(940): I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win. (682): Only you could get away with that. http://tfl.nu/0z6o

Replies (4) Good night (679) Bad night (278)
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(401): View more from Rhode Island

you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through

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(401): you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through http://tfl.nu/dquz

Replies (0) Good night (462) Bad night (257)

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