No subtext here. People are naked.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
You were trust falling into bushes
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
