I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize