He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
