CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
