I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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