Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Randomize
