shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Randomize
