There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
