So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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