i don't like sucking hair
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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