Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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