There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
