watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
