North Korea, Best Korea!
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
