i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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