So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Who wears a wallet chain?!
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
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i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
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Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
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