I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
