doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
My Higher Power is John Stamos
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Randomize
