So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
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