Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
There r osticjed everywhere
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Randomize
