What did we do last night that was yellow?
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I fill condoms, not promises.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
