don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
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