thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Randomize
