I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
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