i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
smell my finger.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
