wakey wakey hands off snakey
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
