A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
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