i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize