i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
