Please, let me fuck your mom
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
