well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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