i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
