And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
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I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
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Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
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