you guys were way drunker than both of me
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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