It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
