i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize