I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
what day is it and did you see me today?
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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