just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
