Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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