This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I think I just shit out all my problems.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
