i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
