I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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