the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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