And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
