In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Randomize