i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Randomize
