i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
