Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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