So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize