got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
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