He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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