There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
