that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Boobs speak an international language.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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