so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
God, you're like boner-b-gone
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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