Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Randomize
